Fighting Cancer - Part I

How does one “fight” cancer?

There are different stages to having cancer. One of the stages is fighting cancer. This is the stage I am in now.

How does one “fight” cancer? First of all, you need a team. My team consists of family, friends and doctors. The first member of my team is my wife. Without her, I would be lost. She is the one who takes the notes, calls the insurance company and is there for me when I’m down. She is there when I need to talk, or when I just need time to myself.

The other family members on my team consist of my parents, my siblings, their spouses, kids, my in-laws and others. While these members of my team may not live close by, they are always a phone call away. They also help by sending emails and cards. Family members are an important part of my team. They are the backbone of my team

Then comes friends. There are different parts of this team. One part is from my shul. These people could also be considered my spiritual family. My Rabbi and his wife have been the greatest. They were there for Roni when I went into emergency surgery. They were there to visit me in the hospital and they were there to comfort us after we received the news that I had cancer. The other members of my shul have been there to pray for us, visit us and help us out when we needed it.

The second part of my “friends” team consist of my friends at work. A couple of major players there are my old boss, Mitch Klaif and my current boss, Jeff Fulton. They have been great is supporting both Roni and me during this time and assuring us that my job is safe. They have both been amazing. Mitch even called to talk to my wife to let her know that they are supporting me. Jeff has been great in letting me work from home, take the time I need for doctors visits and even take things easy when I need to. Other friends from work consist of Frank, who rode my bike from where I left it and stored it in his friend’s house for about a month or so. There is Al, who went through his own fight with cancer. He has been a great person to talk to and listen to. Others at work have always taken the time to listen and give me all the moral support I need.

The next part of my “friends” team are bikers. Those I ride with and those I know from internet on-line forums. The guys from the HOG chapter I ride with have offered to help Roni and me anyway they can. Vinny, the director of NYC HOG, even spent a whole half a day picking up my bike from one place up north and taking it to his house to store it there. He even called a few times out of the blue just to check up on things and see how we were doing. The online community has also been there. People I have never met in person, offering moral support and their prayers have been humbling.

The last group of my friends are those cancer fighters who are part of my support group. This consists of those who are cancer patients and cancer care-givers. People like Steph, Wen, Pat, Frank, etc. have all been great in offering support and advice. This group of friends have gone through, or continue to go through what Roni and I are going through now. The fact that they are still around is an encouragement to me to keep fighting this terrible disease.

The third part of my team consist of my doctors. There is Dr. Bernstein, our family doctor. He was the one who encouraged us to transfer from the city hospital ER and go to St. Lukes//Roosevelt. He also had the ER staff ready for us when we showed up and even had the surgeon picked out to do the surgery. That brings me to the surgeon who performed the emergency surgery on me, Dr. Wishner. He spent three hours operating on me, and cleaning out the infection that had occurred due to my perforated bowels. He basically saved my life. Dr. Wishner was always available with any questions we had, and even very sympathetic when he gave us the bad news about the cancer.

Then there are the cancer specialists. The first is Dr. Richard Warner. Dr. Warner is a specialist in carcinoid tumors, the type of cancer that we first thought I had. He helped us confirm the diagnosis and pointed us to our oncologist, Dr. Ratner. Dr. Ratner has guided us in our fight and has taken the time to do the research with this rare form of cancer, and even reached out to others that we asked him to. Most specifically, Dr. Paul Sugarbaker. Dr. Sugarbaker is the final member of my medical team. He is the specialist in dealing with this form of cancer and will be performing the lengthy surgery to remove the cancer. We have only met with him once, but even the fact that he met with us says that he thinks he can help me.

Then there are the people who we never met. People who are friends of our family that are praying for us. People who send me cards and notes saying they are praying for me and have never even met me. That just amazes me.

Finally, there is the spiritual world. G-d has been the anchor that has kept us during this ordeal. He has been with us every step of the way, and looking back, we can see how he has guided us and kept us. His word has been a source of inspiration. He has been there when Roni and I had nothing left but tears. Without G-d, I don’t know how I would ever survive this.

There are a lot of people on my team. I could never begin to thank them enough for all they have done. I will always be in their debt for the love, concern and support that they all have shown to my wife and me.

Another part of having cancer is surviving. I’ll write more about that when I start that phase.