Consults & Next Steps

Kevin writing:

Just wanted to update you on our visit with Dr. Sugarbaker.

Dr. Sugarbaker is a very nice man and seems very confident. He also seemed very busy but took the time needed with us and answered all of our questions.

He started by examining me, then we went into his office where he went over my CT scans with us. He showed us where the tumors were and told us what needed to be done. Then for his records, he dictated what the plans for the surgery and gave us percentages. That is where my heart stopped beating. Not literally, but I did feel like I got punched in the stomach and had the wind knocked out of me. Roni was more prepared then I was. Basically he said there was a 50% chance of him getting all of the cancer, then another 50% chance of me surviving. That means he is giving me a 25% chance over all. Not great odds. I basically sat there stunned. He then told us what he believes the surgery will take about 12 hours. I will spend two days in ICU, with a total of 21 days in hospital and another 21 days recovering at home.

Yeah, I was shocked and scared and just wanted to get home so I could crawl under the covers and cry. I was certainly not expecting the odds to be that bad.

Now, after a few days to recover, I am doing better. I realize that I have a fight in front of me and am gearing up for it. Even with 25% I still have a chance to beat this and that is what I am concentrating on. As Dylan Thomas put it, I will rage against the dying of the light. That doesn't mean I'm not scared. I still hate doctors, hospitals, surgeries, etc. but I want to live and will do what is necessary. Plus, we really believe that G-d can and still does miracles.

When we first got the appointment, Dr. Sugarbaker suggested I do some more chemo before the surgery, but I was told by his wife that how much really depended on my oncologist. When I asked my oncologist how much I should have, he said I should have the surgery as soon as possible and to cap the Oxaliplatin to two rounds. I have already had one. During our consultation with Dr. Sugarbaker, he suggested we do the surgery sometime in May so I could finish my chemo. I told him that my oncologist suggested we do the surgery sooner and asked if it was possible. I then told him that my oncologist suggested one more round of Oxaliplatin, which will be on Jan 19th. Dr. S wanted to wait one month after the chemo and suggested Feb 18th as a surgery date. So we chose that date tentatively.

This Wednesday, we met with my oncologist again and filled him in about our consultation with Dr. Sugarbaker. We also told him about the surgery date and asked his opinion again whether to do the surgery sooner, or to finish the chemo, then do the surgery. Again, he suggested to do the surgery as soon as possible. So it is now confirmed. I will have the "Mother of all surgeries" on Feb 18th.


Roni writing:

It's been hard having my suspicions about the seriousness of this disease confirmed. Harder still has been watching the reality land on Kevin. We are both a bit shell shocked, but yesterday Kevin went to the gym and worked out hard on the treadmill (physical fitness is key in recovering from the surgery) when what he really wanted to do was watch the Simpsons in bed all night. I'm proud of the soldier in him that enables him to rise above his feelings and "get the job done" through pure stubborn determination and perserverance. He inspires me. Still, we both know that even on our strongest days, our strength alone is not sufficient. G-d continues to be our Rock and a "very present help in time of trouble."

Often it is your hugs and words that serve as G-d's instruments for providing that "present help." We continue to be so touched and buoyed up by the emails and phone calls from so many people. We truly are blessed to have so many caring, praying people in our lives.

I've started the process of working with the insurance company to get the surgery and all that goes with it approved at 100%, as though it was in network. This is a huge area for prayer, especially that the insurance company will be "reasonable" in their reasonable and customary (R&C) caps. Ilsa (Dr. S's wife and office manager) says the Ins. companies try to get away with setting their R&C ceiling according to what surgeons typically charge for two-hour procedures. Obviously, Dr. S. needs to charge more than that for 12 hours on his feet!

Of course, we will pay whatever it takes to give Kevin the best chance at beating this, but it would be nice if he didn't have a mountain of debt to face after recovery. I think we have a strong case for the insurance company to cover everything, and I will be such a pest that they agree to it if for no other reason than to get rid of me!

I know that Kevin's cancer is not just happening to us, but to all who love us as well. We must all decide not to give in to despair. Kevin is in the best of hands that modern medicine has to offer, but more importantly, he is iin the hands of the Almighty. We know G-d still does miracles -- from healings that confound doctors to providing strength, grace, comfort and courage to face any challenge.

We continue to remind ourselves that life is one day at a time for all of us mortals. One of my "theme songs" is one by a friend who later died of breast cancer with an amazing peace that could only be supernatural. It's words are a wonderful prayer for a life well lived one day at a time, and I thought I'd share the words with you (the chorus is actually in Hebrew, but I've given the English translation):

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O My Strength
by Caren Buffum

Make me an instrument of Your praise
A song of love in the morning
Teach me to walk in all Your ways
Enlighten my path before me

Chorus:
O my Strength, I sing praise to You
You O G-d are my fortress, my loving G-d

Make me a tune that You can play
To lift the hearts of the weary
Teach me the words that I can say
And open their ears to hear me

Repeat chorus