Why do bad things happen to good people?

I think it is true for every cancer patient to think, “Why did this happen to me?” I know I did. Why couldn’t Osama binLaden get cancer and die in some cave in Afghanistan? Why did G-d allow me to get cancer and not some scumbag terrorist?

I don’t have an answer to that. The best thing I can come up with is, it just is. We live in an imperfect world, and sometimes you get hit in the noggin with a curve ball.

I remember lying in my hospital bed, in Oct of 2003. The surgeon that performed the emergency operation on me was to stop by in the morning and give us the result of the pathology report. Roni hadn’t arrived yet. At first I kept praying for good news. Over and over again, I would pray, “G-d, please let it not be serious.” Then for some reason my prayer changed. I then started praying, “G-d, please give us the strength to face whatever happens.”

A short time later, after Roni had arrived, the surgeon stopped by and told us, “It’s malignant.” I believe my prayer helped me to be ready for that.

It is now almost a year later. I have been through 3 operations, two of which included chemo. I have been through 4 rounds of chemo (both oral and infusion). I have spent a total of 6 weeks in hospital and about 9 at home recovering. I have had to deal with an ostomy, and then the effects of having it reversed. I’ve been through a lot, but others have been through much worse.

My wife and I have spent hours praying for healing, and G-d has answered our prayer. Then I think, why did He answer our prayer and not the prayers of others? I don’t know. Maybe He did, but not with the answer they wanted. Maybe there are lessons we need to learn from going through all this pain and suffering. Maybe in the long run, it will make us better people, and will make it possible for us to help others through their times of trouble.

At least that is what my prayer is now.