Possible Recurrence...

One day after my last post, I had my CT scan. That same day I shipped the films off to Dr. Sugarbaker to get his take on things.

According to the report made by the radiologist that read the films, there was only one spot of concern. The spot was on the small bowel and mesentery (the tissue that connects the small bowel to the back wall of the abdomen). This was a little disconcerting, but I wanted to hear back from Dr. Sugarbaker before I started worrying about anything.

A few days after the scan, I got a call from Dr. Sugarbaker's office, and the news wasn't good. According to Dr. Sugarbaker, he saw three spots that could be recurrence. One spot is on the stomach, one on the spleen and one on the omental bursa. Dr. Sugarbaker suggests surgery, which would result in me losing my stomach and spleen, and that would be the easy part. Supposedly the hardest part would be getting the spot on the omental bursa, which would require going through the diaphragm, and being careful not to nick the aorta.

The strange thing is, he didn't even metion anything about the small bowel and mesentery, so I guess he didn't believe that was anything to worry about.

Needless to say, this was certainly NOT the news we were hoping for. Being told that I have a recurrence, and the thought of going through yet another surgery was pretty devastating. I just started going through everything that I would have to do again like drink the go-lytely (the really yummy stuff that cleans out your bowels for surgery, and by "yummy", I really mean yucky), go through the surgery, deal with the NG tube (have I ever mentioned how much I hate the NG tube?), go through recovery in the hospital for 2 - 3 weeks, then probably that much time again at home, get the stitches removed, and of course, learning to eat without a stomach.

So, what to do. Last week Roni and I met with my oncologist to discuss my options. The options are 1) wait a couple of months and have another CT scan, 2) try chemo or 3) go for the surgery. We have decided for now to wait the two months and then have another round of tests (tumor markers and CT scan). The main reason for this is so Dr. Sugarbaker will have another set up films to compare with the last ones, and if something is there, then we can determine what to do from there. But we are praying that the spots that are there now, will either be stable, or even better, they will completely disappear. We believe G-d can, and does do miracles, and we pray that He will do one for us.

Personally, I'm doing OK. Just trying not to dwell on "what could be" and just live the best I can. I've been riding the Harley, and even going to the gym about 3 times a week. Sometimes the fears creep in, and I have to be careful not to go down that road, thinking of the worst situations. This is not always easy to do, but I just remind myself that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so I am thankful everyday for all that I have, I live in a great city, have a good job, I ride a Harly, and most importantly, I have a great and beautiful wife.