Never Underestimate The Power of Denial

No, I'm not talking about the Aswan Dam. I'm talking about the ability to ignore things that can kill you. For me, that thing is cancer.

For the past few months, since we have learned that the cancer seems to have returned, I have vacillated between thinking the worse, and just ignoring the whole thing in hopes it would disappear. Both ways of dealing with this are wrong. But at least with Denial, you don't spend your time wondering "what if?"

So, where do things stand for now?

Roni and I have started down the road of meeting with PMP specialists. A couple of weeks ago, we met with Dr. Loggie in Omaha, NE. We really liked him and appreciate his philosophy of treating the patient and not just the disease. He also said that he is more concerned about giving me the best "Quality of Life" for as long as possible. He also said that includes not jumping into surgery right away as it seems that otherwise, I am doing very well. And apart from having this thing growing inside of me, which left untreated can kill me, I am doing fairly well. I feel fine and am fit. OK, I do need to get back to the gym, but I'm no worse off than many others that don't even have cancer.

In lieu of surgery, Dr. Loggie suggests we try the simplest things first. This means that right now I am starting with just a COX 2 inhibitor (Sulindac - similar to Celebrex). He said he has seen some success with that, albeit very little success. If that doesn't seem to help, we will most likely add Xeloda to the mix. Xeloda is an oral form of chemo, which I was on when all of this began. I tolerated it OK, and it is much easier to take than having an IV stuck in my hand and then having poison pumped into my body.

As for surgery? Barring a miracle (which we continue to pray for), surgery is inevitable. We're just not sure when.

And next week, we are heading to Washington DC to meet with Dr. Sugarbaker to get his opinion, then on to Baltimore to meet with Dr. Esquival to get his take on things. Dr. Esquival trained under Dr. Sugarbaker, and actually assisted him with my surgeries. I know this for a fact because we got a bill from him. :-)

That will give us the opinion of three PMP specialists, and we will then decide who we want to go with.

One good thing about the trip to DC is that we are heading down there on Saturday, Jan 5th and we will spend Sunday, Jan 6th doing some sightseeing and just enjoying the city. My appointments are on Monday, so we will head home Monday afternoon after my last consult. So, sometime after that, I'll post again letting you all know what happened.

Until then, thank you all for your prayers and support. Even though they are not needed as urgently as last time, they are still greatly appreciated.

Kevin