I See A Bad Moon A Risin' (CCR)

But replace "Bad Moon" with "tumor markers".

That's right. My tumor markers went up. Past the safe zone. It's safe to say that both Roni and I were very concerned when we found out. In fact, I was just darn scared. Does this mean the cancer is back? Does it mean another surgery? More chemo? More parts of my body removed? Sometimes I don't know how much more I can take.

So, what does it all mean? Right now, nothing. Both my oncologist and Dr. Sugarbaker say not to get too worried yet. We've also learned that you cannot base anything on just one test. Unfortunately, the trend of the tumor markers have been going up since Feb '04. So now we just wait. And do another test in a month.

How am I doing now? I'm still concerned, but I'm trying to not let it paralyze me. It is what it is and I can't change it by worrying about it. (I just wish I could always be like that.)

I just have to remember that every day is a gift and today is one more day I have to spend with my wife. One more day to let my family know that I love them. One more day to live.

I don't know what the future holds. None of us do. But I do know that I will not go gently into that "good night". I'm still breathing and I still plan on raging against the dying of the light.

Any prayers for my tumor markers to go back down will be greatly appreciated.

Kevin